From The Blog

Slip, Slop, Sizzle

Our apartment is in a small complex set around a small C-shaped pool and flowering oleander. It’s cosy and quiet and only a block from the beach.

It’s owned and run by a much bigger hotel that sits right behind us. We had to check in there and the concierge told us we were free to use the hotel facilities as well.

I popped over yesterday with Daisy to check out their pool. I noted that the most popular facilities were day-old copies of the Sun and Mirror, an Elvis impersonator on later that night (sold out!) and an on-site skincare consultant.

The skincare consultant announced herself to everyone sizzling on their sunbeds using a portable microphone and amplifer. She had sunbleached hair that looked like straw and the complexion and texture of a dried up prune. I suspect she hadn’t slipped, slopped or slapped a day in her life.

So I guess I wasn’t too surprised when she didn’t admonish the spit-roasting guests for spending too long in the sun. Or warn them about the danger of Melanomas.

Instead she offered tanning programs that delivered deeper, longer-lasting tans and various oils and ungents that would turn their red skin brown.

‘And don’t use anything more than 20+ on your kids,’ she warned darkly. ‘Their tans won’t last more than a week.’

She looked at Daisy and me, in our UV vests and hats, like we were a pair of circus freaks.

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  1. Nikki June 27, 2009 at 7:22 pm #

    Hi Peter. So I take it you never watched the rugby game today between the British Lions and the Springboks? We (The Boks)won, although personally I think the Lions should have won as per overall performance! Speaking of shades of orange, I am currently reading ‘Vroom By The Sea’, really enjoying it, but what I wanto mention is that my friend has just received a retro style Lavazza Espresso machine as a gift, and by the description she gave me, it is a similar bright orange shade as ‘Marcello’ (The Vespa) – and possibly a similar shade to the poor woman in the beaty salon you mentioned!Needless to say, hearing about this espresso machine immediately made me think of ‘Marcello’!

  2. James July 3, 2009 at 10:30 am #

    I think the story about some Scots using chip oil to improve their tans (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/scotland/5730557/Scots-using-chip-fat-instead-of-sun-cream.html) says a lot about the attitude to the sun in the UK. Unless they come back from their holidays lobster red then they feel short changed.

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