My dad passed away last week. Luckily I had time to fly out to Oz and spend a couple of days with him before it happened.
Since then I’ve been dealing with all the other stuff that happens after someone dies – flowers, coffins, photo tributes etc etc etc. As my sister Vanessa so succinctly put it – I’m over having to make so many decisions.
When I jumped on the plane out to Australia it didn’t even enter my mind that I was going out to bury my father. I thought I was going to warn him to slow down a bit, help him move in with my sister Melinda and tell him I’d see him again at Christmas. Instead I found myself at Trade Secrets buying a cheap suit and composing in my mind the words to express what my dad meant to me.
I honestly thought it would be another 10-15 years before I’d have to face that. He was only 68. Sure, he had Lupes – but I figured he’d conquer that. Just like he conquered everything else in his life.
I’m back in the UK now and the whole experience seems surreal – almost like the last two weeks never happened. I’m sure that’s typical of one of the stages of grieving but to be honest I’m still feeling detached from the whole thing. That’ll change, I know, but it’s nice to feel numb for the moment.
On a lighter note, we found the picture above when we were sorting through all the family photos and slides. It was one of the 20-25 images used to sum up my dad’s life in a photo montage played during the funeral service. (Soundtrack: Luchenbach, Texas by Waylon Jennings. My dad loved his C&W outlaws.)
It’s my mum and dad asleep on a bus somewhere. I always thought of them as a 1950′s couple (they got married in 1960). They missed out on the whole Sixties hippie kind of thing. But in that photo at least they look like some cool Californian couple heading west to San Francisco on a Greyhound bus.
The reality is that they’re on a Newman’s bus somewhere in New Zealand.
But it’s still my new favourite photo of my mum and dad.
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Really sorry to hear about your dad Peter. Mine passed away nearly ten years ago now and, like you, I was visiting him when it happened.
Great photo though!
What an awesome photo (I can see you in both your parents’ faces).
I’m sorry for your loss.
So sorry to hear about your father’s death. From what you wrote about him, he sounded like an amazing guy.
You and the whole family are in my thoughts and prayers.
sorry to hear about your dad our thoughts are with you and the family
Love the photo. What an awful shock that must have been. The numbness I guess is a kind of preservation instinct doing its thing. Stay cool, while you can, until the numbness wears off…
Sorry about your dad peter. Hope you and all of your family are able to be there for each other at this tough time.
Hi Peter.
I saw the picture first and thought it was you, shaved and with a groovy hat.
I’m sorry about your Dad. A loss in the family is devastating. There’s a John Lennon quote that fits well:
“Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.”
I’m not sure of Lennon’s context, but it’s nice.
Peter,
Very to sorry to hear about your loss. Makes me feel like I need to go and give my dad a hug. I am glad you were able to be there at the end.
Hi Peter.
so sorry to hear of your news however like my Dads passing years ago earths loss is heaven’s gain. Try to stay strong, remember he hasn’t left your thoughts and they are things no one can take away, and more importantly can be easily carried around with you to view whenever you want
Hey Pete,
My deepest sympathies to you and your family. At 68 your da was still a young man by todays standards. I guess the line that comes to mind is only the good die young….
After many years on the corporate treadmill I’m on the verge of heading on a random adventure round the world for the next couple of years. Much of the inspiration to do this trip has come from reading your books. I guess I owe your da a big thanks as I’m sure he inspired you the way you’ve inspired others including me.
Great picture of your folks mate.