Well, I’m back from Oxford. Man, what a week. Tutorials, seminars, punting, graduation dinners (and photos) and a pint at the pub where Bob Hawke broke the record for drinking a yard of beer.
When I was offered the chance to live like a student for a week I was determined to do it properly. If an Oxford student had to write a 2,500 word essay in a week then I wanted to as well. And if they had to attend a one-on-one tutorial to defend what they’d written then I would too.
One of the tutors at the English Department, a Beck-lookalike chap called Jonathan, agreed to help out. He set me a tricky question on the relationship between form and function in the poetry of Gerard Manley Hopkins. I had less than a week to write it and hand it in. After a Red Bull-fueled final night I got it in – two hours early!
Later that day I donned my subfusc for the tutorial.
I’ve got to say I began to doubt that the tutorial was a good idea when I saw all the comments Jonathan had written on my essay. There was more red ink than on a loans book at JP Morgans. It turned out he was just being thorough.
Jonathan gave me a Beta Plus, which is the Oxford way of scaling things based on a Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Delta matrix. He said the plus was because my essay was ‘entertaining and enthusiastic.’ I don’t think he gets too many essays that claim Gerard Manley Hopkins would have made a great Beat poet and attempt a bit of GMH-style vowelling themselves in the process.
Reliable sources have informed me that a Beta Plus translates as a good 2:1. Or a Distinction if that’s your grading bag. Either way I’m as pleased as punch.
Like Jeffrey Archer I can now say that I’ve studied at Oxford.
Except he only got a diploma.
I got a 2:1.
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Congratulations, Peter! Glad you had a good week.
Do we get to read your essay? It sounds interesting!
Maybe you should include your essay, with all the comments Jon made on it, as an appendix in your book!
Good idea PJ. I’m loathe to give away too much of the story ahead of time so that’s a good idea. Maybe I’ll post it somewhere on the Blimey website after the book has been launched.
As for the comments, I was thinking of using them selectively – like they do on movie posters – pulling out the good stuff like ‘excellent’ but totally out of context.