I got questioned by the police in Epsom today. Outside one of the hi-fi shops on Upper High Street. I was picking which widescreen TV I was going to buy after winning the £54 million Euromillions draw tonight. Just as I had decided on a nice 42″ plasma, a police car mounted the pavement, screeched to a halt and two policemen in yellow flouro vest jumped out.
The policemen stood either side of me and asked me my name. I told them. Then they showed me a photocopied photo of a man and asked if it was me. I said that it looked more like Jose Mourinho than me and they said ‘Really?’ I said ‘Yeah, if he let his hair grow longer, grew some serious stubble and slept in a hedge for three days.’
They seemed to accept this and jumped back into their car, driving off with the sirens blaring.
They’re probably on their way to Portugal to interrogate The Special One right now.
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Perhaps it was a passing Guardian reader that reported you?
Did he look anything like this??
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cxuNBvMvPZw
To be honest Peter, you do look highly suspect.
Thanks Benny – v.funny and a good intro to ‘The Special One’ for those who don’t know of him. Is it me, or is the Premier League a lot more boring now he is gone?
And Hunty, I guess I do look a little dodgy. Although it is a look that has held me in good stead travelling through Afghanistan, Bosnia et al!
I find it highly amusing that you’re hassled by cops in Epsom but left to your own devices in Mostar. Gold.
In other news – I’m taking off on my first completely ‘alone’ trip in April. Although it’s to the relatively safe USA, (I have been warned about orange cheese,mind) it’s an awful long way for a petite 25 year old Perth lass. What’s more… I CAN’T WAIT!!!!
Awooga!