I spent the day today at Book Expo America out at the brand spanking new Washington Convention Center. It’s the biggest book industry event in the States with over 2,000 exhibitors clamouring for your attention. It took me close to four hours just to wander up and down all the aisles.
Along the way I got chatting to (formerly) Famous Amos who asked me to call him Amos Amos because he’d sold the rights to his name. When he found out I was from Australia asked me how Bert Newton was going. He’d visited Downunder back in the 70’s to appear on the Don Lane Show.
I tried to avoid eye contact with the Apron Lady, a seventy year old woman with long grey hair who should be wearing aprons. Well, not unless she wears something else underneath.
I shared a cup of Espresso with Fabio from the Italian Touring Map company.
I startled Tara Moss – and myself – by calling out her name as she walked past. (For the non-Australians amongst you, she a tall, glamorous ex-model with blonde hair who writes crime fiction in Australia) We chatted for a while and she told me she was trying to crack the US market and that she preferred a motorcycle between her legs rather than a Vespa. I began to feel inadequate but that could have been because I only came up to her breasts.
Of course, everyone is there to promote their ‘product’ and give out all sorts of ‘incentives’ for you to notice them and their books. In no particular order I was handed:
- A handful of badges from D.A.D.D. (Dads Against Daughters Dating)
- A ‘cookie’ from Google Books. (Cookie. Computers. Gedit?)
- A passport sized copy of the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution of the United States. (The girl was not impressed when I tried to invoke the 5th)
- A Guide to Italian B&Bs
- A Lonely Planet Guide to Green Travel
- A book about Sharks
The last one was given to me by the guy standing in front of me in the queue waiting for a taxi. I told him that in Australia we keep sharks as pets.
He believed me.
US Cab Driver Nationality Census
Daily Tally
Sierra Leone – 1
Ethiopia – 1
Ongoing Tally
Nigeria – 2
Eritrea – 1
Sierra Leone – 1
Ethiopia – 1
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So far … doubted the reality of your apron lady, giggled when you described some more, laughed over the sharks, felt sorry for you only coming up to Tara’s breasts … every Aussie males nightmare I guess.
Taxi count … never heard of that before